So if you haven’t tuned into ESPN or literally any other sports media outlet lately, LaVar Ball is fantastic. He is the sport world’s latest case of being an overly outspoken dad. He is constantly spitting out FIRE hot takes, and the media, and people (including myself) are eating it up.
First he said this about what a 1-on-1 between him and Jordan would look like:
“I would just back (Jordan) in and lift him off the ground and call a foul every time he fouls me when I do a jump hook to the right or the left,” Ball said. “He cannot stop me one-on-one. He better make every shot ’cause he can’t go around me. He’s not fast enough. And he can only make so many shots outside before I make every bucket under the rim.”
That is absolute GOLD. The best part is that you genuinely don’t know if he is serious or not. I’m convinced that he actually thinks that Jordan couldn’t get around him. I don’t know where his delusional plan of lifting Jordan came from, they are literally the same height. In terms of calling fouls you already know that’s how it is going, if LaVar Ball is playing in a 1-on-1, he is going to take full justice of calling every drive to the hoop a foul. He is assuming full officiating duties. Then Charles Barkley gets involved, took the situation to new heights. Barkley reveals that LaVar only averaged 2 points a game when he played. So LaVar promptly responded and said “Who cares?, I know he don’t want to play me 1-on-1”. WHAT. You just got dunked all over by Charles Barkley and still have the confidence to say that. I figured he would stop after that…man was I wrong.
But let’s talk about the latest LaVar Ball conflict. This time he went after someone who isn’t done playing basketball. In summation LaVar said that it would difficult for LeBron’s kids to succeed in basketball because the expectations for them would be too high. Then LeBron went all LeBron on him and said keep my kids out of it, this is dad to dad now. I doubt LaVar meant it in the way LeBron took it, I simply think LeBron was being LeBron (editors note: for the uninitiated, that is a Sensitive Sally).
But let’s talk about the good stuff, what if these guys fought. LeBron wouldn’t agree to a fight, but I think LaVar would 150% tussle. First of all I think it would be an electric fight. LaVar would come out with all showman like, shadow boxing and what not. LeBron would come out all serious, probably in one of those boxing robes with the hood over his head, real serious. The fight would start and I don’t think it would take more than 3 seconds for LeBron to shove this guy in a locker. LaVar would definitely come out far too strong, rush Bron Bron and get dropped like a sack of potatoes. Case closed. And as I’m sitting here I hear audio from LaVar going on a SiriusXM show this morning responding to LeBron and saying I don’t care what LeBron says and basically throwing his “warning” to the side. You really can’t make this stuff up. This fight is destined to happen. It will probably happen before the McGregor v. Mayweather fight happens. Line opens up with LeBron favored -6000.
But seriously LaVar Ball is a genius with all of the outlandish things he is saying. All he is doing for himself and his sons is getting them more publicity than they already have. He is exactly what sports have needed for the longest time, a dad who will literally go to the ends of the Earth to defend his kids’ basketball skill, even if it takes insulting some NBA legends and the best basketball player in the world. Saying Lonzo is better than Magic AND Jason Kidd…LOVE IT. I need a show that just follows LaVar Ball around with a camera all day. Don’t want it, need it. He has uncovered a new method of marketing, just by being a straight up lunatic. I don’t know what planet he is on, but I would like a one way ticket there.
Oh yeah and this now:
At this point replace Max Kellerman with LaVar Ball. Ratings will be out the wazoo.
P.S.- If Lonzo doesn’t end up being the best player of all time, everything LaVar Ball has ever said or been a part of (including this blog) is irrelevant. Toss it in the trash.