New York Giants Draft Jibberish to Ring in the Weekend

As official as it gets for an unofficial blog! With the draft less than a week away, it’s time for the kid to throw his hat into the draft speculation ring.  Draft season is the best time of the year in the NFL, one where I feed off the false hope of all these lowly franchises.  Seeing Eagles fans cheer for whichever warm body they draft at number two overall (after signing their soul over to–of all teams–the Browns) will be just the sustenance I need to fuel my good vibes until week 1 when the Giants blow a massive and seemingly insurmountable lead in Dallas to push me to my mental breaking point open up their season against the Cowboys.

We all know the narrative with the Giants this off-season:  HUGE spending in free agency to supplement a less than stellar draft history for Mr. Reese’s Teams in Pieces.  Even calling it less than stellar is generous when you look at the whole history, but when you select a guy and he turns out to be Odell Beckham, your leash is given a good deal of slack.

**An aspect of this draft that’s flying a tad bit under the radar is it marking Ben McAdoo’s first draft as Giants head coach.  I don’t know if this has any bearing on the Giants draft tactics whatsoever, but I’m hoping that this fresh face signals a brighter days for a team that has a combined record of 19-30 since 2013.

What of those ill-fated draft picks I spoke of just now?  Could they really have as little impact as my often embellished take’s lead you to believe?  In fact, yes, Jerry Reese was literally the worst GM in football (draft wise) for about 5 years.


Despite this damning statistic, Reese has been better in recent years, seeing as how his guys are actually getting playing time.  Now, whether that’s because the roster is a hallow shell of a Pop Warner football team or these guys are actually good players is still up for debate, but I do see building blocks and will let the 10 players that I view as good continue to fuel my optimism.

Next, I know the Giants threw everything but the kitchen sink at a their newly acquired free agents and now have some decent names on defense; but, it’s not quite the fix they need.  Depth is still a major issue on this roster.  Vernon can’t play every snap, and we still actually do not have a third corner-back on the roster.  Sure, there are two names penciled in at right tackle, but they are Marshall Newhouse *fart noise* and 7th round draft pick from a year ago Bobby Hart.  Slight upgrade may be needed in that department.  How about safety, a position that was embarrassingly bad last season.  Need to see what every tight end in the league did against us?

Jason Witten: 8 catches/60 Yards/2 touchdowns

Charles Clay:  9 catches/111 yards

Jordan Reed: 6 catches/96 yards

Benjamin Watson: 9 catches/147 yards/1 touchdown

Rob Gronkowski/Scott Chandler:  6 catches/114 yards/2 touchdowns

Jordan Reed AGAIN: 8 catches/98 yards

Greg Olsen: 6 catches/79 yards/1 touchdown

Kyle Rudolph: 2 catches/53 yards/1 touchdown

Zach Ertz: 9 catches/152 yards

If stats aren’t compelling enough, here’s a looped video of the Giants safety’s doing everything but their job.


Pick ten is a valuable spot to be at, so where do the Giants go?  Here are some names to look out for:

Leonard Floyd

Pos: OLB

College: Georgia

Won’t get into draft speak because quite frankly, I don’t get any of it.  In my meticulous study of this athletic specimen, we discover he is an outside linebacker than may be able to *GASP* rush the passer as well?!?!?!

Holy shit, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a Giants linebacker apply halfway decent pressure.  Uani Unga wasn’t exactly getting the job done in that department.  Also, I know most Giants fan CLAMOR for a linebacker to be taken in the first round, something that literally hasn’t happened in 30 years–Carl Banks holds that distinction.

I wouldn’t be mad about this pick at all despite me being relatively unfamiliar with Floyd.


Ronnie Stanley

Pos: Tackle

College: Notre Dame

Again, I covered the names of the warm bodies the Giants are currently projected to have play right tackle for them, so this would make a lot of sense.  I get that a lot of people are a little salty that this selection would mean that the Giants spent either a 1st or 2nd round pick on the offensive line every year since 2013, but what does that matter?  It’s a unit of five guys that needs to be cohesive and uniformly stable.  This issue at the end of the line could have been avoided had the right tackle version of Justin Pugh not been eaten by Connor Barwin a few years back.  Plus, remember the Cowboys beefing their line up and how that worked out?  Hello, running game!

Vernon Hargreaves III

Pos: Corner

College: Florida State


Yeah I know, but the NFL is very much a three-receiver league, and my rudimentary knowledge of both math and the Giants roster helps me conclude that the Giants have only two–YES, COUNT EM, TWO–reliable corners on their roster.  This would ensure that guys like Cole Beasely, Markus Wheaton, and Davante Adams aren’t killing us this season while Dez, Antonio and Jordy are getting swallowed up by JackRabbit_2.0.

Plus, we’ve seen how hard it is for DRC to stay on the field.  This would make this rather large contract expendable if VGIII turns out to be anything special.  But it being the Giants defense, I’ll gladly settle for reliable.  Maybe this isn’t the exact Florida State defensive back we want out of this draft, but this kid is supposed to be pretty good in his own right.


Myles Jack

Pos: Linebacker

College: UCLA

I’m getting my hopes up on this one, but the recent buzz around Jack is the once virtual-lock for top five is sliding down some big boards due to knee concerns.  I actually watched some clips of this kid, and he is pretty fucking good.  Sideline to sideline runner, explosive tackling machine (yes tackling, something done piss poorly by Giants linebackers).  Also, the nickname would be OUTSTANDING!

“The Jack of All Trades”



And let me just say this one last thing: I will absolutely lose my shit if the Giants draft Ezekiel Elliot.  Jump off the ship, into shark infested waters if that’s what it comes to.  Why?

1st round running backs seldom work out.  You get your Adrien Peterons’, but then you also get your Trent Richardsons’, David Wilsons’ and Darren McFaddens’ of the world, with the jury still out on Melvin Gordon.   After Trent Richardson was taken with the third overall pick in 2012, not a single running back was taken in the first round over the next two seasons.

Since the Rams pounced on Todd Gurley, running back is now a crazy first round necessity.  Get the fuck out of here with that garbage.  Not on my football team.  A football team whose last two running backs taken in the first round turned out to be Ron Dayne and David Wilson.  A football team who has FIVE running backs on their roster currently.









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