We Will Have Another Sub .500 Division Champ

Uh oh, it’s time to become emotionally invested in a team notorious for soul-crushing losses.

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Typically when a struggling team remains in a playoff race, they get peppered with “This team has no quit” and “They’re a resilient group.”

 

That could not be further from the case with the 2015 New York Giants.  2011–now that was a resilient group.  They lost four straight heartbreakers and managed to pull it together in Dallas to save the season.  This team has lost three straight and four of it’s last five; it’s almost as if they want no part of the playoffs this year.  Possibly the idea of having to play the Panthers twice just scares the crap out of them.

 

On a more general note, does anyone want to win the NFC East? Washington had a chance to put a stranglehold on the division–only for DeSean Jackson to DeSean Jackson.  Dallas hasn’t won a game without Tony Romo once this season, and this is the game you decide to allow that happen.  Kudos, Washington.

And Philadelphia, are you absolutely for real?  You have laid an egg on three separate occasions against an opponent that you should have rick-rolled.  Coming off of back-to-back blowout losses doesn’t exactly instill any confidence in a team either.  I’m not even impressed by the Patriots win, I’m just annoyed.  I can’t figure out whether to pity you or hate you.

 

This dumpster fire of a division may very well be decided by the week 17 finale–Philadelphia @ New York.  My heart anxiously awaits that fart of a game.  The Giants are the most undeserving team ever, in a league where quality of play outside of the playoffs has been borderline horrendous.  It seems almost every year since 2010 there is a division that is a complete mess.

 

 

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Everyone remembers the Beastquake playoff game in Seattle when the defending champion New Orleans Saints had to go to the Seahawks.  Brutal.  To be fair though, that lack of tackling ability we saw on Marshawn’s run served as a precursor of things to come for the Saints defense.

 

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Good ole’ Tim Tebow.  That clown somehow manages to slide his way into football related discussions every now and then.  Again, a better Pittsburgh team had to go to Denver, where their best cover Safety couldn’t play due to a elevation induced medical condition, and got beat by Tim Tebow.  Aaron Rodgers has sneezed a prettier spiral than Tebow can throw.  Justice was served in the divisional round by Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski.  I’m guessing the Patriots felt good about getting a bye to the AFC title game that year.

 

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This is definitely more of a reach by me, but I refuse to be wrong at all.  Check out that point differential.  Denver may have been good, but they were really good in a really bad division.

 

 

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I’m pretty certain Detroit sat at about 6-3 that season while Scott Tolzien and Matt Flynn were quarterbacking the Packers.  They ended up losing a billion straight and blowing the division in what would turn out to be Jim Schwartz’s last great run as Lions head coach.  Chicago fans still cringe at Aaron Rodgers’ fourth down heave to Randall Cobb for the NFC North dagger.

 

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Another absolutely gross season.  The NFC South is like the standard of futility.  Unless you’re the Giants who can’t beat a team that has the basics of throwing and catching a football down.  Little did we know that Carolina would get hot at the right time and never cool down.

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And now Dabbing is cool.  Would it be cool if a 7-8-1 team who crawled into the playoffs were doing it?  Absolutely not.  But if you’re 12-0 and lighting the league on fire, everyone will dab.  Chris Berman, Woody Johnson and Jerry Richardson have all Dabbed.  (I’m getting frustrated modifying the tense of Dab) Think about that.  Won’t be surprised when Obama concludes the State of the Union address with a Dab.

 

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YUCK.  This division is such a stinker.  Talk about good fortune for the rest of us not named Dallas.  A healthy Tony Romo spells certain doom for anybody else’s hopes.  Speaking of stinkers, check this stat out.

Combined completion % and TD-INT of Eli and Non-Romo QB

58.5 % 9 touchdowns 13 interceptions

Combined completion % and TD-INT of Was/Phi QB and Non-Romo QB

83% completion percentage 9 touchdowns 1 interception

 

What is it about the Giants that brings out the gross quarterback in everyone that isn’t Tony Romo?  It’s hard to imagine that a team as bad as the Giants is tied for first place.  You mean to tell me that a team with this guy as their best pass rusher is tied for first place?  Screen Shot 2015-12-08 at 7.47.29 AM

You mean to tell me that a team with pass coverage like below is tied for first place?

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You mean to tell me that a team tied for first place can have their running attack this season summarized by the following GIF:

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Screw it, I’m all in.  At some point I’m going to get my hopes up about the Giants again; why can’t today be the day!  Last time I checked, we had the best weapon in the entire division, so as long as Eli keeps finding a way to squeeze the ball into the paws of ODB, we will most definitely being seeing a lot of the below GIF (to go along with possibly the first ever 6-10 division winner).

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P.S.  Here is your “Pathetic Giants Fact of the Day”

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